How We Paid for IVF (And the Resources I Wish I'd Known Sooner)
Let's talk about the part of IVF that nobody puts on the brochure: the money.
When we started, I was so focused on the medical side, the diagnosis and the decisions, that I didn't let myself think about the cost until it was staring back at me from a spreadsheet. If you're there right now, feeling that pit in your stomach, I want you to know two things. You are not irresponsible for struggling with this, and there is no "right" way to pay for it. There's only the way that works for your family.
So here's exactly how we did it. Not because our path is the answer, but because I wish someone had been this honest with me.
Our starting point
We live in South Carolina, which does not require insurance companies to cover fertility treatment. That's the reality for a lot of us, and it can feel deeply unfair. My insurance did include a $15,000 lifetime fertility benefit. It was a real help, but once we started with donor egg IVF, it went fast.
Financing our donor eggs
Our first round of donor eggs cost roughly $40,000. We didn't have that sitting in savings, so we took out a loan through CapexMD, a lender that specializes in fertility and medical financing. Taking on debt to build our family was an emotional decision. It helped to remind myself that people finance homes, cars, and educations, and this was an investment in our family too.
An unexpected turn: Progyny
After failed embryo transfers, we needed a second round of donor eggs. Around that time, my husband changed jobs, and his new employer offered Progyny, a fertility benefit some companies provide. It covered our second round of donor eggs in full. I still get emotional thinking about it. It's a big reason why I tell everyone: ask what fertility benefits your employer, or your partner's, actually offers. It can genuinely change your options.
Everything else we did
Even with insurance and a loan, the gap was big. So we:
Maxed out our HSA and FSA every year, which let us pay for treatment and medications with pre-tax dollars.
Liquidated some investments. It wasn't easy to watch money we'd set aside for the future go toward the present, but for us the present was the future.
Cut our spending, fewer dinners out and fewer trips.
And honestly? It was still a massive cost to overcome. I don't want to wrap this up in a neat bow. If the financial weight feels crushing, that's because it is, and you're carrying it alongside everything else.
Resources worth looking into
Employer fertility benefits
Progyny, Carrot, Maven, and Kindbody all offer fertility benefits through employers. If you're job hunting, it's worth asking about during interviews. HR can also tell you whether your company offers one.
Fertility financing
CapexMD, Future Family, and Sunfish offer loans and payment plans designed for fertility treatment. Compare interest rates and terms carefully.
Ask your clinic about multi-cycle packages, refund programs, and cash-pay discounts. Many offer them but don't advertise them.
Grants
Grants are competitive, but they are real, and you can apply to as many as you qualify for, since each program operates independently. Conceiveguide
Baby Quest Foundation: awards of $2,000–$16,000, paid directly to clinics, pharmacies, or agencies, and usable for IVF, IUI, frozen embryo transfer, donor eggs or sperm, embryo donation, egg freezing, and surrogacy. Note that they don't reimburse treatment that has already begun, so apply before you start. Illume FertilityBabyquestfoundation
Tinina Q. Cade Foundation: a Family Building Grant of up to $10,000, plus a medication grant supplying fertility medications through EMD Serono. It supports IVF with donor eggs too. Donornexus
Gift of Parenthood: need-based grants of up to $20,000 toward IVF, egg donation, surrogacy, and adoption, reviewed in four quarterly cycles each year. Donornexus
Journey to Parenthood: at least one scholarship per year of up to $10,000 for IUI, IVF, or egg donation. FertilityIQ
Starfish Infertility Foundation: its Braxton Grant provides up to $5,000 for uninsured applicants anywhere in the U.S. Illume Fertility
Hope for Fertility Foundation: grants from $250 to $10,000 for legally married U.S. citizens or permanent residents with a physician-confirmed infertility diagnosis. Donornexus
Taxes
Some fertility treatment costs can count toward the medical expense deduction. Keep every receipt and ask a tax professional what applies to you.
If you're feeling overwhelmed
Please hear this: the cost of your treatment is not a measure of how much you want your baby, and running the numbers doesn't make you less hopeful. Take it one step at a time. Call your insurance, ask HR, apply for the grant, even if you're not sure you'll qualify.
You deserve support in every part of this journey, including this one.
With hope,
Meghan
I'm not a financial advisor, and grant details and deadlines change often, so check each organization's website for current eligibility before applying.
